Genesis 37 - Damage Control For Our Dead Dreams

April 17th, 2012

In Junior High, I had this recurring hope.

I had this dream to finish school, come home, and watch TV!

And let me tell you….this dream was very good at happening every weekday, at 3pm, 4pm central.

I would come home, turn on SportsCenter, and then watch whatever else was on ESPN until 6. Then I enjoyed Simpsons reruns til 7, and Friends reruns til 8…followed by primetime television til 11.

Obviously Thursday night was the best. Here’s why… you got your daily reruns til 8, then a BRAND NEW Friends and Scrubs from 8 to 9. AND during those commercials, Survivor was also on. Just an hour later you would unravel an always strange and often crude Vegas murder with CSI at 9. Then at 10 you end the night by watching With Out a trace, a show that always assured me that you can go missing in an infinite number of ways.

Of course there are those moments… those moments where things really come together. Like this:

But there’s something else. My dream was not just to come home and watch TV….no! because sometimes reruns had boring parts…sometimes sportscenter covers nascar… and all commercials are the worst! my attention span would not have that!

So I’d also play video games using the picture-in-picture setting on my 27 inch TV.

That’s right. While I watched my shows… I also journeyed my way through the Marios, Zeldas, and yes… Maddens! Because, the last Superbowl my 49ers won was when I was 6…so I thought they could use my help! 

And that was my dream. And it happened. And as you can see, it was both awesome and terrible. But mainly terrible, because it was trivial.  It was too easy. It wasn’t hopeful enough.  It wasn’t grand enough. Who wants a dream that you can fulfill all on your own?

Well, I was also raised with another dream. A dream of what it would be like to have a father.  And with that, a normal supportive family.  Shoot, I hoped I’d even settle for a family like the Simpsons. Say what you want about Homer…but at least he was present…Sort of.

You see, as I shared last quarter…when I was 4 months old my biological father left my family. But, this was not the end of the story. There was still hope, and there was still the dream of a father.

Because when I was two, my mother got remarried to another man who actually adopted my brothers and myself as sons.

My dream of us having a father was alive again! The dream to joke around with him, to beat his face in at a game of Madden, and to be guided in life without unnecessary suffering.

But as always, this dream was put to the test. And it faced harsh resistance… because my parents divorced when I was 7.

But it was worse than that.  This guy turned out to be an abusive individual.

so the dream of having a stable, loving family was shattered. The very guy I hoped would protect me from unnecessary pain was the guy I needed protection from.

And that is precisely what happens to Joseph in this passage. Joseph quickly found that the very people who should have launched his dream and protected him from unnecessary suffering, were the people who hurt him and ended the dream.

And we are left wondering, how do you carry on when a big dream dies? How do you react when you really want something, but it just doesn’t go your way?

Because we are all dreamers. Some of us have dreamed to attend our first choice in colleges…or grad school, but we don’t get in.

Some of us have dreamed to play sports at the college level, but an injury takes us out of the game

Some of us have dreamed for love. We have dreamed that the person we care about would look back at us just as fondly, but they don’t.

Some of us, like myself, have dreamed for family. People who love you, protect you, and sustain you…. But instead they’re non-existent or abusive.

And we are always left asking, how do you carry on when a big dream dies?

Well this is what Genesis 37 is all about. Genesis 37 reminds us that we are dreamers and that when a dream dies, it is terribly painful. But, it also reminds us that there is hope to carry on when a big dream dies.

But before looking into what good news Genesis 37 has about carrying on when a big dream dies, I’d like to first recap our Genesis narrative to this point…and I’m going to do that in poetry form…

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,

And God loved his good creation

But then Adam and Eve disobeyed

And so sin entered the world from temptation

Abraham was chosen by the Lord

To be a blessed nation

But there were no descendents, of course

So the covenant was on ‘probation’

Eventually his son Isaac was born,

And so began the celebration

After that Jacob was born,

But Esau was Isaac’s favorite procreation

So, Jacob grabbed Esau’s heel,

To take his birth certification

Then Jacob married four women,

You’d think he’d have some hesitation!

Jacob picked his favorite wife, Rachel,

Because of her beautification

Then Jacob picked his favorite son Joseph,

Due to generational sin propagation

So, Genesis 37, starts the fourth generation of our narrative.  Joseph is the youngest of Jacob’s sons…and, frankly, his favorite.  And Joseph’s story starts with a dream…actually a couple of them.   

In Joseph’s first dream he was working with his brothers…tying up grain. Then it gets interesting… Joseph’s grain stood upright in the middle…and his brother’s grain gathered around it and bowed to Joseph’s grain

No…I’m not making this up…

Think about it…Joseph was the youngest by a long shot.  He had a different mother and he was his father’s favorite.  And, as we’ll see, he fits all the stereotypes of ‘annoying little brother.’ 

And he longed to fit in with his family. He dreamed that he would be loved and valued in his family even though he is just a teenager, and he’s the youngest.  His dreams of belonging are so intense that they invaded his sleep…and then he thinks that it will help to tell his brothers, thinking that it would help him fit in

But instead it annoys them…

Actually it was more than annoying.  They hated him. For being younger. For being the favorite. For his dreams.

So what does Joseph do? Naturally, he shares another dream…

In this dream, the the sun, moon, and eleven stars are bowing down to him.

Oh and the planets...and some meteors…meteoroids…meteorites… all bowing down. 

And again… he’s telling his brothers “Look guys, I fit in, I belong.  Not only that, but I matter.”  But this dream is about to super nova. 

These dreams are part of a building conflict between a clueless and maybe arrogant teenage Joseph and his 11 older, stronger, smarter brothers. You can just picture it… the family is a football team…11 older brothers take the field…against Joseph…who may has well be the football.

You see, it’s not entirely Joseph’s fault that his brothers hated him. Joseph’s mom was Jacob’s favorite…of 4.  And he did nothing to hide the fact that Joseph was his favorite kid.  Remember the last Genesis story we talked about: Jacob sent his family to meet Esau’s army. The problem was that Jacob sent Rachel and her sons last, giving them a better chance of survival.

This was their father…Jacob. who was supposed to care and protect them…who sent them into danger…

And how did Jacob continue show that Joseph was his favorite? …Out of a deep, arbitrary, and embarrassing devotion, Jacob gave him a colorful robe. Just what every boy wants…GIVE ME A ROBE…a colorful one! just the thing to make you fit in with 11 older brothers. 

And this arbitrary love creates hatred from the unloved brothers.  And again, the one who should have protected Joseph, made things worse…

There is something terribly unusual going on here, and the brothers won’t have it. Because the younger should always bow to the older. And they were probably looking forward to that day, when they would finally rule over Rachel’s son. 

They got their chance when Jacob sent Joseph…away from home…far away…to find his angry brothers… and come back and share how they’re doing.

So up to this point, the story is kind of playful and intriguing. But what happens next is generally misconstrued in our culture. You see, there’s this musical…and it’s pretty strange. It’s called “Joseph and the Technicolor dreamcoat.”

And it depicts what happens next in a very peculiar way. Check it out.

But the thing about this passage is that it’s not funny. In Joseph’s heart, there are years of wanting to fit in with the brothers. In the brother’s hearts, there are years of wanting to get rid of the favorite son. The tension is deep. Just listen to what the brothers say in verse 19 before Joseph arrives.

¹⁹ "Here comes this dreamer. ²⁰Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. Then we will say that a fierce animal has devoured him, and we will see what will become of his dreams." 

Do you notice what is happening here? His brothers spot him in the distance and plan to kill him.  This is cold and calculated

Can you imagine that? Trusting someone and being completely betrayed by them? Isn’t it puzzling how Joseph just shares a dream, and suddenly his life is being toyed with as his brothers begin plotting his murder?

Fortunately, Reuben, the wimpiest older brother ever, decided to convince the brothers not to kill him just yet…so the brothers threw Joseph in a water hole, that was actually void of water.   And then the brothers sat down to eat what I can only assume were their lunchables.

It’s your typical mafia hit.  These are some cold blooded dudes.  You know, at any time between the consumption of crackers and the oozing of cheese wiz, they can choose to take it back. They can stop this hit on Joseph. But they don’t… they must have hated the favorite son for a very long time.   

But you know… there is always that guy…you know the guy…the guy who looks at every situation, good or terrible, and asks the question “how can I get paid”…”how can I get some moulaaa”

Well one of the older brothers, Judah, is that guy and he thought it would be a great idea to sell Joseph and make a profit. Judah is a pretty interesting character in his own right, as we will see when Stanford, Peter, and Landon tell you the rest of Judah’s story in a couple weeks.

So, the brothers sold Joseph, the dreamer, for 20 pieces of silver. And the passage goes on to tell us that

³¹ they took Joseph’s robe and slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. ³²And they sent the robe of many colors and brought it to their father and said, "This we have found; please identify whether it is your son’s robe or not." ³³And he identified it and said, "It is my son’s robe. A fierce animal has devoured him. Joseph is without doubt torn to pieces."

And you’ve gotta be wondering….. exactly how many robes of many colors like that are out there? “Oh, was that Jacob’s robe..we had no idea.”

So the brothers have gotten rid of Joseph and the dream. Order is preserved in the family…and you think how can God possibly bless the earth through a family that functions in this way? A family that functions near constant self-destruction?   

And how do we carry on when a big dream dies?

For my first big idea on how to carry on when a big dreams dies, look with me at verse 34, which tells us about Jacob’s reaction to the loss of his son.

³⁴Then Jacob tore his garments and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. ³⁵All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted and said, "No, I shall go down to Sheol to my son, mourning." Thus his father wept for him.

You see, Genesis 37 gives insight to the complicated topic of how we should mourn the loss of a big dream. Are we supposed to just move on? Not talk about it? Are we allowed to mourn? Or should we be comforted right away and healed of this loss? Well, Jacob tore his clothes and mourned the loss of his greatest prize, his favorite son, for many days…

Because the feeling of loss hurts. Often, we think we need to move on. We need to be creatures of efficiency, but the truth is that mourning takes time.

Jesus recognizes this and calls us to do it together, to ‘mourn with those who mourn.’ 

Jesus is telling us that when your dream is stripped away, there is freedom to hurt.

Genesis 37 is not a life passage. It is a death passage. And it teaches us what to do when the death of a dream comes our way. Because, a dream can disappear. It’s fragile and precarious and it can be killed.

But what we need to do in order to carry on is to…

1. Realize that the death of a dream has no bearing God’s character.

We don’t need to be comforted from our sorrow right away. In fact, true comfort is the kind of comfort that is present, and with us, and not the comfort that speeds up the healing process.

When I was in high school, I was one of the many unwise people who decided to date. Those of you who have done this in high school know that it is generally a terrible idea, because it hardly ever ends well.

The strange thing about this was that I actually had some success. I met a nice girl who I ended up being with for four years. And because we had gotten so close, she became a huge part of my life.

But, like most high school relationships, it came to a terribly painful end. And I was destroyed from this…probably more than I should have been. Even though psychologists do say that students experience this loss with the same intensity as losing a family member…which is absurd…but the point is the feelings are real

I mourned for many weeks after. There was no sense to it. The relationship was not the greatest. We were better off apart. But I mourned uncontrollably.  

But there was one thing that stood out to me during my mourning: how my friend, Pat, treated me during this time.

My friend, who was attending UC Berkeley came out to Davis twice to spend time with me. Once, he came to play tennis.

 Another time he came to take me snowboarding…and you know what I did that time? I slept in. I ignored his calls. I remember hearing his car door until 10 or 11am as he waited for me wondering if I was ever going to join him in the snow that day…which I didn’t

But his favor toward me persisted even into summer.

One day he came over to my house. Fortunately the door was unlocked, because I probably didn’t have the strength to get up. And the moment we saw each other, we both knew that I was going to break down again. And without saying anything, he came and sat next to me. He put his arm around me and patiently let me cry next to him. He didn’t rush me. He didn’t hold it against me that I ignored him for our snow trip. He didn’t tell me that I had been mourning for 6 weeks already and I needed to get over it. He let his presence tell me he loved me and that I was free to mourn. …

And the thing here is that God does the same thing for us. If you think that God is not a God of comfort during even our most painful moments, then you did not get that information from scripture. God is not smaller if our big dreams don’t come true.

God knows that suffering by ourselves can ruin us. But suffering within the absolute assurance of God’s love can change everything.

Often, being quick with an encouraging scripture or cliché about how God has a plan is not what people need. Because God knows that those who mourn don’t need answers. They don’t need talking. They need to know they are loved. They need to know someone is with them…and mourning together is one of the primary functions of community.

The point of mourning is to turn grief into contentment instead of bitterness. Bitterness comes from mourning alone. Contentment comes from Godly counsel. Count on this. Know that God gives us the freedom to mourn the death of a dream because “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”

And we cannot be people who bottle it up. We should not reject the Comforter. I know, sometimes Christians are afraid of suffering because we think it testifies against God’s goodness. This makes us bad at being comforted or coming alongside others when they’re in need. But God is with us. His presence is our great comfort. And we have freedom to mourn.

So, how can we carry on when our big dreams are killed? We first have to make room in our worldview for the fact that even dreams from God and be destroyed. With that we should realize the death of a dream has no bearing God’s character…he is with us for the long haul…his favor persists through all seasons.

Now what’s the other good news that Genesis 37 has about how to carry on when a big dream dies?

Look with me back to Joseph’s journey. Notice the coincidences and random happenings in this story.

Joseph was sent by Jacob to find his brothers working in Shechem…but they aren’t there. Instead they’re in Dothan, OF COURSE… a remote place that is many miles farther from home… away from Jacob, only from protection. But Joseph only finds this out after talking with a nameless man in the wilderness who happened to overhear the brothers SAY they were going to Dothan, AND who happened tell this to Joseph.

Amazingly, Joseph finds his brothers in Dothan!  But by then they had planned to kill him, so they grab him. Although, before killing him, Reuben convinces them spare Joseph’s life for the time being. So instead, the brothers throw him into one of those pits that are filled with water. Except, it has no water in it.

Then this caravan going to Egypt shows up!…in Dothan…a remote place. And Judah decides to make some money from the incident, by selling Joseph- Oh and Reuben is gone now so that he cannot stop the transaction happening. And now Joseph is the property of Potiphar, who is a captain for the Pharaoh.

Suddenly, Joseph is exactly where he needs to be. In Egypt. Connected to the Pharaoh. And if all this didn’t happen exactly in the order that it happened, everybody eventually dies from a famine. Because what no one knows at this time is that there is a famine coming in a few years. And if people do not get to Egypt in time, they are all going to die of starvation. And this leads to my second point… we need to

2. Look for God’s favor within the seams of a dead dream

What have you noticed as I have shared this passage? What word tends to show up in the scriptures again and again, yet this passage has makes no mention it….GOD…not even once. God is absent. There is no mention of God anywhere in this passage. God is never referred to.

This might resonate with some of you.  You may have wondered if God has taken seasons of your life off.  Because you have gone through rough times, like losing a big dream, without any defense from God, who is loving and powerful. But God isn’t in this passage. And sometimes it seems like God isn’t within our dead dreams.

In Genesis 37 Joseph was seized, stripped, and thrown into what was more or less his tomb. He cries out and no one does anything for him. Why? Why does the dream have to die in that way?

At the core of Joseph’s selfish dream is the hope for restoration. A dream that things will be how they are supposed to be. That there will be restoration for a broken world…and things will be set right.

And God gave this hope to Joseph.

But the thing about Godly dreams, as we see in Joseph’s case, is that they are not automatic.  They often face resistance! Terrible, gutless, heartless, pitiless resistance! And what’s worse? The resistance can overcome the dream. It can seemingly kill it.  In this world, on this side, restoration does not always win…sometimes brokenness overwhelms restoration.

You see, there are three results for our big dreams; and even dreams from God: 1) the dream can be deferred. It can come to fruition later, and in a way we’d never expect...perhaps even after we have already given up on it! 2) the dream can transform. It can turn into a different dream, a dream that fits the person you are becoming or want to be. Or 3) the dream can die. It can face a terrible death and never come back.  

Genesis 37 gives us hope no matter which category our big dreams are under.

And here’s why… No matter what category our dream is in…deferred, transformed, dead…we have to react  the same. Why? Because each situation feels like a loss. Because each situation demonstrates that our hopes have NOT gone the way we imagined.

And so we ask…where is God? How can something from the Lord be overcome and face defeat? What does this say of His goodness? What does this say of His love? His control? What does this say of us, that we cannot save our own dreams? We cannot keep them alive.

But there is hope in the face of dreams, even good dreams, even dreams FROM GOD that die…it is in the One who knows the way back from death.

Because, Jesus depicts that a dream can overcome death. Before leaving his disciples to be crucified Jesus said:

“A little while, and you will see me no longer…truly I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy.” John 16:16,20

God doesn’t choose to prevent evil. He chooses to outflank it.

God doesn’t create evil. He overrules it, and it destroys itself. God turns deaths into resurrections.  So if your dream dies, or things don’t go as you had hoped…you can become bitter…you can, that’s your prerogative, or you can look for something beautiful to come of it. You can look for God’s favor.

That’s the story of Jesus. Sent to the cross in what looked like cosmic defeat. Raised up on the third day in celebration of victory over death!

The dreams we have from God can die… and they often die! But, our God is a God of resurrections.

Our God raises dreams back to life. And Jesus came back to life, bringing HIS dream of restoration to us. And for Joseph… it’s not over yet

Yeah he’s been sold. Yeah he’s in Egypt.

But we know to stay tuned. Because we know how this one ends. The death of our big dreams, is not the death of God’s big dream.

Because God does not abandon dreams of restoration.

Tonight, I’ve talked a lot about dreams of restoration. Dreams of relational or personal restoration.

But some of you aren’t really thinking about that. You’re thinking… man…my dream was to be a doctor, or an engineer, or an athlete. But after taking ochem, or math 21, or getting injured… you’ve realized. This dream isn’t gonna happen. And it hurts.

But here’s the thing… For those of you who have these kinds of dreams…recognize first that this dream could either be deferred to a later time, transformed into a different dream, or it could simply be gone for whatever reason.

But regardless, I encourage you to

1. Realize that the death of a dream does not bear on God’s character…he mourns with us…his love persists

2. and always look for God’s favor…his love…his creative re-creation…within the seams of a dead dream.

And for whatever category your dream is in…ask your self: Am I going to let sorrow turn to bitterness? Or am I going look closely...and find out what adventurous and creative journey of restoration God is taking me on.  Am I going to look for God to bring something beautiful out of this?

And recognize, not all dreams are even from God.  Some dreams NEED to die, because they are idols. They are too important to us. They consume too much of our lives.

And we need to be willing to let those go. These are the kinds of dreams that overwhelm our every decision. They tell us to disregard all human affection, patience, and humility in order to accomplish this dream. And they are poisonous for our lives.

Because the call is not to make dreams happen on our own. The call is to live out God’s dream for us. To be bearers of restoration, as Christ has now brought on an age of restoration.  And sometimes, the most productive path for restoration takes us through the wreckage of a shattered dream.   So stay tuned for the rest of this story in the coming weeks…because that is exactly what happens with Joseph.

If you’re fearing the loss of a dream that is holding on by the thinnest thread, or already morning the loss of a dream that you’ve had for years and may even believe was from God…remember, dreams can be deferred, transformed, or even truly dead. But, what matters…what matters is that God turns deaths into resurrections. He turns the feeling of death, the feeling of loss, or an actual death into resurrections. Our God turns sorrow into joy.